Man oh man have I ignored this thing for so long.. I only have a few minutes so I thought ehh why not... Things are pretty good right now, typical stress at the J. O. B. but you will have that. The summer is back to semi normal, no more weddings or babies coming that I know of for now. Courtney had a darling baby girl, Gracelynn is her name, and Heather had a beautiful wedding, my life is very blessed with the both of them in it. Not to mention I'm jealous of these itches :P..... "Oh someday" I say.

I keep chuggin along working out life's kinks as I go. One of these days I will get it right I hope. I feel a personal change settling in again. I like these changes, they allow me to look back and see how much I have really grown. It's a good feeling and it's even better when others notice it too. I still wonder if I have made many right decisions sometimes. From breaking big hearts to breaking my own to here I am now. I chose work over everything for the longest time and now I think I am really missing out. (sigh) "Oh well,.. someday"

We had the stupidest argument the other day (yes I said "stupidest"). Over toilette paper! Who does that?! It was one that really got me tickin and wondering how much I really do around here and why. To only feel appreciated and like I really mean something would be the best gift. I don't feel like I'm asking for much. Only when I go to work and work hard, and then come to my sanctuary and work more. My natural frustration rises and with that comes stress. I try to only smile and contain my emotions, but I have to be human too, right?

(Oh hunny I love you,... bless your heart)

I have been trying to improve the way I see and handle things. That's not an easy task, mind you, I am a red head. :) After feeling the health effects of letting so much get to me, I can say I never want to feel like that again. It was scary. SO much had happened all at once and the result of having no outlet was painful. I literally could have drove myself to the crazy bin. Depression, anxiety, fear and wanting control is not a good mix of feelings. Especially when u mix in anger and the words "I don't care". I had to just chill. Unfortunately, the one I could always call when I needed her in these times is no longer a phone call away, so solving this on my own has been ehh.

But it will be alright.