Man oh man have I ignored this thing for so long.. I only have a few minutes so I thought ehh why not... Things are pretty good right now, typical stress at the J. O. B. but you will have that. The summer is back to semi normal, no more weddings or babies coming that I know of for now. Courtney had a darling baby girl, Gracelynn is her name, and Heather had a beautiful wedding, my life is very blessed with the both of them in it. Not to mention I'm jealous of these itches :P..... "Oh someday" I say.

I keep chuggin along working out life's kinks as I go. One of these days I will get it right I hope. I feel a personal change settling in again. I like these changes, they allow me to look back and see how much I have really grown. It's a good feeling and it's even better when others notice it too. I still wonder if I have made many right decisions sometimes. From breaking big hearts to breaking my own to here I am now. I chose work over everything for the longest time and now I think I am really missing out. (sigh) "Oh well,.. someday"

We had the stupidest argument the other day (yes I said "stupidest"). Over toilette paper! Who does that?! It was one that really got me tickin and wondering how much I really do around here and why. To only feel appreciated and like I really mean something would be the best gift. I don't feel like I'm asking for much. Only when I go to work and work hard, and then come to my sanctuary and work more. My natural frustration rises and with that comes stress. I try to only smile and contain my emotions, but I have to be human too, right?

(Oh hunny I love you,... bless your heart)

I have been trying to improve the way I see and handle things. That's not an easy task, mind you, I am a red head. :) After feeling the health effects of letting so much get to me, I can say I never want to feel like that again. It was scary. SO much had happened all at once and the result of having no outlet was painful. I literally could have drove myself to the crazy bin. Depression, anxiety, fear and wanting control is not a good mix of feelings. Especially when u mix in anger and the words "I don't care". I had to just chill. Unfortunately, the one I could always call when I needed her in these times is no longer a phone call away, so solving this on my own has been ehh.

But it will be alright.

where to go from here...

Today was a day of celebration for our close friends Ashley & Clint. One of the three weddings we are attending this year. Embarrassed to say we couldn't stay for much of the celebration. I feel like we are awful people right now and I'm not sure to blame you or not. Our friends care a lot about us and I feel like we have let them down, you and me together. You are making things very hard for me to handle any more and my heart keeps breaking. I don't understand why you stay away for so long in the evenings after work and now we are back to this. You can't go out and have a good time anywhere without realying on alcohol. And then there's today. I'm not sure who to be right now, the angry girlfriend who has had enough or the sympathetic girl whose heart is bigger than the world and will find someway to forgive you again.. I poor my heart and soul into loving you and it doesn't seem like it is ever going to make a difference. I've lost a lot of hope. I look at others who are starting lives and families together and envy what they have while you leave me at home alone to wither in my loneliness some more. I try finding things to occupy my time so I'm not at home waiting on your call or for you to walk through the door, but it's pointless bc I still wonder and worry. I don't think you will ever realize what you are doing to me until it's all over with. I have grown to accept and love lots of things about you and you gave me your family and your daughter at a time in my life when I needed the love that they provide and now you are taking it all away. It's not fair. Where did the man go who loved me truly? That man was happy. I want him as my partner, not you. It's unclear where we go from here and it will continue to be painful on my end, bc as long as I keep sacrificing my wishes and wants in life, and block my heart, it keeps me here, in your daughter's life. And she is everything to me little do you care. My heart goes so deep for this little girl. I hate asking myself what it is I need to do when I'm the last person who is capable of only thinking about her self.

Hipity Hop... Easter's on it's way

Easter is my favorite holiday of the year! The smell of spring air, tulips, and seeing new life being born is something to feel happy about. And let's face it, the best candy is out at this time too! (It's also not too far off from my birthday)

Even though I don't have any children of my own, I still count on miss Aydia to share all the traditional holiday things with. Besides, it brings out the kiddo in me and well... I love being a "big" kid :) Since she still believes in Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, I'm gonna milk it while I can! I always make up an easter basket for her; I strongly believe in putting effort into these things instead of taking the easy route and buying a pre-made one from Walmart. It just seems so commercial and taking your kid pick out their own basket? Com'on people, really?! (sorry, not to be overcritical) 5 yrs at walmart will kill ya.

There I go off topic again... where was I?...

Oh so making up her basket is the best! We haven't done the egg decorating yet, but to my surprise the Mr mentioned this is something he wanted to do. (Ha! I love this guy and all his little life surprises) I can't wait to see this! We also meet up at his grandma Derr's for a nice dinner and a good ol' fashioned egg hunt. Then Aydia has to hunt for her basket! (poor girl, Mr always finds a tough hiding spot for it, it's the small sinful fun we get to have) lol I like to take my famous shortcake dessert, which in my eyes is a perfect fit for spring :) (I'll be sharing the recipe soon) I wish I had those awesome jello molds for egg shaped jigglers! Jello is always so much better tasting in shapes. That's something I need to get online and find for next year.

Smile,

Easter's on it's way! :)

Things I luv..

Been pretty uneventful the past couple of days besides preparing myself mentally for this new workload March 1st brings. Thus has given me soo much time to surf the web! (not something that comes easy bc it can waste tons of time in a day) So you can say this is rare, but exciting!

I must share what I have found...

a little site here and there that may come to some use in a blue moon. A little eye candy for myself lets say.

Stationary and printed goodies

Scrapbooking page ideas

Farm house wares : coolest site for me!

all located in the Things I luv so they won't be forgotten :)

Smile!

nothing much of something.

Taking a look outside, I see that Ohio is looking like a shaken snow globe once again. Times like these make a great movie day.

Speaking of, Julia and Julia was a movie to my entertainment.

Humbly, I feel like Julia much of the time... starting things I intend to finish, but finding myself with several incomplete projects. Over time I have collected many odds and ends to different hobbies I enjoy. All to which i should focus on one at a time I suppose :) (Hardly enough time to do so anyhow.)

As the worlds best bargain shopper I am ( yes I'm gloating on the great deals I seem to find) I can barely pass up a thrifty deal to add to my congested closet of hobbies. Shamefully, it has become just that, a congested closet! Somewhat Organized I must plead. See..

All my favorite loves are behind these doors:

Spray paint, Sewing Machine, Photo Printer,

Scrapbook papers and embellishments.. you get what I'm saying.

This will do for now until I can turn an extra bedroom into an imaginable crafting studio!!

Cheers!

Poor Blogger..

Poor Blogger,

I have ignored you for few weeks now. I'm working on it though. The schedule has been crazy, life has been busy and I've been too tired to try anything new. I need to get it together and get my mojo back!

Stopped at Hobby Lobby the other day, I did. (I couldn't bare to live without that place!) Picked up a few things. Gonna try some silk screen paint to decorate this "blah" of a sweatshirt I have. I love it's comfy-ness but it's not something I prefer to wear in public. It's too great to leave in the closet, so with a little magic and a few mice friends I think it can become a Cinderella :) (too many kid movies, I know) I also explored over to the bead isle. I want to make a charm that fits my vintage style I've got in mind. So hopefully all turns out well. It's a slow process, (shame on me) finding the time and motivation is the key.

Um...hmm.. ?

Sorry Blogger I'm in a rut.

Please excuse my scattered thoughts..

Lately I have been struggling with ideas, projects, and anything creative in general. I have creators block big time! I went to an interview at one of the best design firms around this area and came out rethinking what I really want out of all this. It was a great interview, don't get me wrong.

Everyone can get to a point where what you love can become no longer enjoyable. I think I'm lost on what to do, as I am attempting to raise this block off my brain! I discovered last night a lady I follow on here keeps a Journal but it's not just an ordinary journal. Her journal is writings, doodles, art and all kinds of things. I'm totally inspired. She stated that she carries around her book, a few crayons or markers and a newspaper or magazine. I've never truly kept a journal, so this could be a challenge.

I'm thinking I can do this! I have all the time in the world (not really, but I'll make time) to do something like this if it is going to help me find my creative side again. My problem is there are soo many hobbies I am into and can't seem to finish any. My biggest threat is of course, my career. If I can't create then I have no job. Simple as that. So I best get to it!

She posted a few books that inspires her and they were neat, I think a trip to Barns and Noble is in my agenda to find a few inspiring journaling books myself.

Organic Anyone?

Have you always wondered but never knew exactly where the produce at the grocery was coming from? Well we recently watched the video Food, Inc., and what a disturbing feeling I got afterwards. This video showed the facts of where our beef, poultry and vegetables are being produced and what exactly goes in them. My stomach churned! I just couldn't believe what I was learning. I always debate in the produce section on what to buy as to which looks more appealing. I'm a big fan of celery, and it's one vegetable that shows the biggest effect in organic or not. I usually would buy the bigger stalks that look better and greener. Not no more! These stalks have been injected with "steroids" to preserve them longer and to make them grow incredibly faster than organic. Ugh! how frustrating! It's a shame we don't have some local true farmer markets near by. If I had the ability I would have my own garden.

I'm Jumping for... my Health

It's here, 2010 has hit the calendars.

Personally, I'm not very big into making "New Yrs Resolutions" because, well, lets face it.. most only last for 3 months tops -OR- We make ourselves promises in diets that turn into excuses eventually and then parish at the sight of a chocolate bar! So what's the point?

I've decided to give it a try with something new, since this tradition is truly made more for a personal goal.

The two dreaded words: Health and Weight loss has never become a concern of mine until now. I recently was going through a few photos of last year and the year before, and saw that my weight had fluctuated visually. Soon to be 25, has everyone saying "your still a youngin" but I'm no longer as physically active. I've never been one of those gals to be all hyped up on their looks or to be in a size 3, but I have always been self-conscious. I'm no supermodel nor do I want to be, but I would like to see myself healthier and more fit. I have seen a difference in my skin, my hair and my emotions when I eat like crap-o-la and feel like crap-o-la! It's hard to justify going to the grocery to buy for two separate grocery lists, (when one person in the house is super picky and limits to a small menu) and your only cooking for two! Cooking for him and cooking for me isn't the problem but spending twice as much at the grocery is. I need to find a solution for this.

His Menu: red meats, chicken, hamburger helper, potatoes, green beans, corn, chips and cheese, pepperoni, lasagna, pasta, pizza, sugar cereals, waffles and kool aid/ Gatorade. (and he gains 0 lbs)

My Menu:(I miss these things) Chicken, fish, turkey, occasional steak, sushi, soy beans, green beans, beats, carrots, celery, broccoli, Romaine and spinach lettuce, raspberry vinaigrette, feta cheese, brown rice, all fruits, nuts, raisins and cranberries. I could go on and on.

Unfortunately, he turns his nose at these things. I need suggestions.

In the meantime, I have been reading up and discovered that Jump Roping is going to be a new fad for me. I'm no Rocky Balboa preparing for my next fight.. but this workout can kick butt! After a couple of days my calves were tight, my legs like jello and I felt like I had ran a mile. I couldn't believe how fast my heart was pounding after 15 min! Curious again, I did some more reading and found that 10 min of jump roping equals a half mile run. Wow! I am happy with this because I do not like to run on freewill. Total cost for happiness = $6

Meet My Motives:

Meet my friend above on the left. I despise her! (in a good way of course) She is the instructor off of my Turbo Jam dvd's. One of the most energetic people I have ever seen! She is lit up with a great personality to work out to, and of course I want my body to look like that at 40 after 2 kids! Then there's my friend above on the right. Kelly Ripa. Hilarious to watch, perceptive and yet on the verge of too skinny. I despise her also!

I posted these two due to their interesting qualities and for the fact that they are getting posted in my closet as well. Super fun people and they are going to keep reminding me of my goal. Work work work but yet don't go over board!

Wish me luck!

Edible Play Dough Cookies

So much fun this was! Chicken Little and I had just enough time before our festivities began to make these colorful treats. Thanks to Make It & Love It's link to this fun recipe.

Note: I used neon food coloring and the colors came out very bright.

http://sitsgirlsrecipes.blogspot.com/2008/09/somewhere-over-rainbow-by-little-momma.html

Play Dough Cookies
3/4 C butter
3 ounces cream cheese
1 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 t vanilla extract
2 and 3/4 C flour
1 t baking powder
1/4 t salt
assorted food coloring (gel or paste works best)
...

1. In a bowl cream butter, cream cheese and sugar until fluffy. Add egg and vanilla. Beat until smooth.

2. In a bowl combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Add dry ingredients to the creamed mixture. Stir until soft dough forms. Divide dough into Fourths. Tint each with a different food coloring. Wrap in plastic and chill for two hours. (I stuck it in the freezer for 15 minutes because I hate to wait!)

3. Preheat oven to 350. Shape colors into 3/4 inch balls. For each cookie place one pink, one orange, one green, and one blue ball together and roll to make one giant ball. Roll into a 12 inch long snake, and then starting at one end coil roll to make a cookie. Place cookies 2 to 3 inches apart on greased cookie sheet to allow for spreading.

4. Bake for 8 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool and store in an airtight container. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday!

Bought two sweaters from the local consignment shop.. total cost= simply under $5

It's a start. First dress I have ever made and it's for a little birthday girl.

This Old Door.

Unique and Antique.

Purchased this old door from one of my favorite country stores. Suggs Farm

Eaton, OH

A talented carpenter took an old farm door, heavy and imperfect the way it is, and built a shallow bench ledge to the front with a small storage unit underneath. He added some simple details to the design and painted it roughly. I would have to say this is one of my favorite "primitive" pieces in our home. As the seasons change I dress it up with odds and ends and every time I walk by I get the whiff of an old rustic home.

Thanksgiving Leftovers are on their way...

lol! I love this title.

Thanksgiving is 3 weeks away and we all know what that means... Leftovers! Enough for the entire week is what my family sends home and we usually end up tired of it before then... so.. I have a recipe to prevent the "groundhog day" of leftovers. :)

You will need:

Leftover Turkey (shredded into moderate size)

Chicken broth

Chopped Celery

Chopped Carrot

Barley

Salt and Pepper to taste

Throw all into a Stew pot, set to medium heat and let it go until Barley and vegetables are tender.

Momma's Easy Chicken Potpie

Easy to do in a quick amount of time...

2 to 3 chicken breasts fully cooked

your choice of vegetables (use frozen, thawed)

1 to 2 cans cream of chicken

(depending on size of dish)

Bisquick biscuit mix (fix according to package)

In a deep dish, layer chicken, vegetables and cream of chicken, salt and pepper to taste. After preparing the biscuit mix, spread dough over top. I only use half the biscuit dough for smaller dishes.

Preheat to 350*

Bake 15 minutes

Raise temperature to 400*

Bake another 15 to 20 minutes until top is golden and biscuit is done.

Simple and yummy!

The best reward! Girl Scout cookies!

The end of the year is on its way and I have been contemplating a few goals for the new year. Resolutions are resolutions that last for 3 months. I'm trying out a different approach this year.

Who doesn't love to see that table at the grocery store set up with all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies? (um we are all guilty even though we say we aren't going to eat the whole box) So this coming year I have decided to volunteer as a Girl Scout leader. Our chicken lil is seven and has struggled with her interests in extra activities. We have tried cheerleading and came out with a broken arm and anything else is down hill from there.. :) She loves making friends and talking.. so I have decided that we can put these "skills" to great educational use. With her being an only child and mostly hanging out with adults majority of the time gives her little exposure to being a kid and doing kid things. My goal/resolution is to give this back to her. Including all the other little girls for whatever "skills" they may share.

The Hunt for Santa..

I know, I know... Who is possibly thinking about Christmas yet right? Not that I'm in a hurry for it to be here, but I am anxious to put my tree up and see some snow. Just a tiny bit will suit me just fine :)

Anywho, I'm on the search for Santa! Or a few tidings before that time gets here. My tree is in need of a few more vintage ornaments. I have a few and the colored lights but it just isn't enough. I'm in the mood to be crafty if anyone has any ideas... Looking for things from the 80's such as an old vintage santa, rosy cheeks and glitter; a tree topper; old looking ice cycles; and whatever else has this vintage appeal. I love glitter and anything that looks old.

Any suggestions?

DIY HandyWoman!

I'm not sure how many women like to do things around the house themselves, but that is me! I'm not one to wait around on him to get to it. I don't know what it is , but I have to at least try first :) (No offense guys!) I may end up with 3 or 4 or 5 holes in the wall before it's done and over with, but hey, my man appreciates my effort (I hope :))

So, if you are a DIY gal I have the best man made tool ever. I discovered this tool at Lowes and am bound to buy all my girlfriends one too! ($20 bucks, if that) It's a handy level with sliding notches to hang whatever you want. Just turn your picture over and slide the notches to match up with the picture hangers. Put your level on the wall, mark the holes and wallahh! Your picture is hung in no time without the multiple imperfections and it won't be crooked. Something to impress him with :) I love it!

Little toes, little nose, big ideas..

Nothing is more inspirational than life's precious ones! From the cutest noses and the sweetest grins. How much better can it get?

Every other weekend we get the cutest little person on earth, in my opinion, and she always has something new to share. If it's not a funny story, it's a simple remark that makes you chuckle or your heart melt in her hands. I am truly amazed at the things she can come up with also :) Her creative little mind has the sky for the limit! Always suggesting her ideas whether they are realistically possible or not :) I wish my brain was a little less clouded and more focussed on the fun things, but to be an adult it doesn't work out that way.

So with creative thoughts a stirring, together we are going to work on a few crafty creations and I couldn't have a better partner. I can't wait to get started!

Keep ya posted on our progress! :)

Sweet Success

I have to say that I have gained unbelievable confidence in myself as a woman over the past year. Some say people change with the season and to an extent, I believe it is true. I also believe patience and experience along with forgiveness helps this matter as well. We all want better things in life, but what determines this worth. Do we let value, looks, jealousy or simple greed take over or do we allow patience, hard work, and self reward take place instead.

I find myself frustrated at times with past job expectations. Looking for the positive to take along with me is difficult at times. Looking at it like a small detour in life sometimes helps. :) Between the work life and general life, I am coming out grateful for things happening the way they have. I'm truly stronger, wiser, and more open hearted than I ever have been and it's been a great feeling!

Once upon a...

Promise: not to be a workaholic, but to be an efficient provider.

Imperturbable Equal: not to be quick to disagree, but to listen and balance decisions

and others.

Dreamer: to work towards the home and title I seek.

An Aspiration: to bring self accomplishment in career and love.

Seeker: to endear new friends, and share common interests.

Goal(s): healthier life

crafting

photography

$ saving

less emotion spending

making time valuable.